minogame | Week 5 → SOME DAY? Monday evening?!?!

Week 5 → SOME DAY? Monday evening?!?!

( Some time after the motives have been announced and emotions have had a chance to wind down or something, Urashima will come over towards Break and Gilbert's room. Break will be able to recognize his footsteps easily enough in the hallway-- they're light and fast and as energetic as ever but he passes Gilbert's door and slows down just as he gets to Break's.

I'm assuming the door is open here or something so he sort of just hangs out there for a solid few seconds before knocking quietly and poking his head in to see if Break is resting like he should be. He won't complain if Break is sleeping! Honestly, it's not like he's checking on Break because they're super close or anything... but the man really keeled over Sunday??? And he's Gilbert's friend??? And really, being a suspect is stressful (he knows, he's been there twice). )

... Mr. Break?

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[ The door is indeed cracked, and when Urashima peeks his head in, he'd be forgiven for think Break was asleep. He's laying in his bed, and for all appearances, he seems to be asleep. His breathing is slow and even, and his eyes are closed, and yet, when Urashima speaks, it's also quickly make clear that's not the case. Break's voice is clear in response without a hint of fatigue, so it's clear that he's awake and isn't exactly drowsy.

He's not quite bedridden, but Gilbert is at least making sure he spends as much time resting as possible. So for a blind man, this leaves very little for him to actually do, so it seems like just laying there and waiting for sleep is the extent of his activity at the moment. ]

Hmm~? I'm not dead yet, so don't worry.

( He sure did think Break was asleep and he was going to keep going on his own business. He lingers by the doorway for a bit, still unsure like, shouldn't he be resting? I dunno, he was pretty sick before so maybe he should be resting. Break seems like the kind that would act like he's better than he really is. Mostly because that's what he's been doing apparently GOD YOU'RE REALLY DYING?? )

Good. ( Just, "good." This is definitely a good thing. Absolutely and completely. ) ... You look bored.

( There's no one here and he wasn't doing anything at all? )

Can I come in?

( IDK maybe keep you company for a little bit or something if it's okay. )

Well, there's not much for me to do, you know~.

[ Break shifts to sit up, which is an unspoken gesture that Urashima has permission to enter. Even if Urashima wasn't Break's favorite person at the moment, Urashima also isn't wrong. He is bored, so any company is welcome. Gilbert is vaguely off someone else, if only because Break told him to go do something else. Even if Break is bored, he wouldn't want to make Gilbert stay here with him all the time. ]

But yes, come in. I'm not doing anything, as you can see~.

( He'll take a few steps in and while he'll eventually have a seat on the second bed, right now, he stays standing in front of Break. Urashima holds his hands in front of him and turns them for a moment before bowing down. He wonders if Break can tell or if this is just a pointless gesture or not. )

Thanks for helping me yesterday. ( Realizing Undyne was right and that he slept through the entire murder like a baby.... Look, when you're a suspect, you're pretty aware of all the suspicions about you in particular. ) Especially after... I didn't help you at all.

[ The bow isn't completely lost on him, since he does have a general sense of what Urashima just did, at least. It's not often that people bow to him, though, and with what comes with that bow, the light, whimsical expression on Break's face turns to mild confusion instead. ]

You're... welcome.

[ There's definitely a reluctance in accepting that kind of thanks, but even though Break frowns, he shifts to sit up a bit straighter. He sighs, then shakes his head. ]

Though you shouldn't be thanking me. I voted for you as soon as I could on the second day. I only changed my mind about it once Gilbert found that glitter stuff on Vegeta, to be honest~.

[ Break pauses, then adds: ] It's like I said. I would never change the past. I know exactly what harm it causes.

[ Because that was a far more important misunderstanding to Break than simply being a suspect, and it shows in the fact that this is what he brings up. Being a suspect didn't bother or surprise him too terribly, since he accepts that he's a terrible person. But for that week's motive? That was what had made him angry enough to even lose his temper. ]

( It isn't like Urashima doesn't know people really suspected him last week or anything but hearing people actually voted for him? That does something to his chest that he can't really explain yet. It's like he's' suddenly very aware of each breath he takes and his chest feels tight. He thinks he shouldn't be surprised-- he heard the arguments and he can see where they're coming from, certainly but...

Hovering in place for a moment longer before taking a seat on the second bed. Break had been upset last week about the motive. Besides Urashima, he was one of the first people to speak against it and see it for what an awful trick it really was and Urashima had doubted him at the trial. )

... Because you've changed it before.

( Cheshire told him pretty early on in the week. )

But I can't take your word because I know what it does too. Especially here.

( He's both sorry and not for doubting Break and maybe if he was back home or if this had happened a couple of weeks earlier, he'd believe him but after five weeks in a place like this? He's felt too many strong emotions here that remind him of fighting the enemy. He's felt them himself and so he's had a harder time trusting. )

[ There's a brief moment where Break's jaw sets, because it still makes him angry to hear it. To him, it doesn't make sense to not believe his intentions, but that's entirely because it comes from a very charged, emotional place for Break. He would die before he'd ever try to change the past again, but he does at least know that those sorts of statements don't sound sincere from most, and perhaps it doesn't even seem like it from him in particular. That's a much older sense of pride and honor, and that was what had led him to change the past in the first place.

His jaw relaxes, and he smiles instead. It's not quite a warm or cheerful smile, but there's instead a sense that it's to cover up whatever he's really feeling in that moment, even if the smile is smooth. ]

...You know, this does remind me. You're quite close to the cat, am I correct?

( He catches that and again, maybe if this was a few weeks earlier, he would have flinched back at making anyone upset in any sort of way. Instead, he holds his place waiting to defend himself from any sort of verbal jab but it doesn't come. Break only smiles and he's seen his fair share of fake smiles back home to see that this one isn't real. Like the one Nagasone gives when he proudly admits he's a fake, this oen makes him sad too, so hes' graeteful for the topic change. )

Mr. Cheshire? Yes. ( And then he narrows his eyes curiously at Break, ) Why?

( He knows enough to know they don't get along. )

[ Break nods, since it's just a question to open up this part of the conversation. It's perfectly obvious that he does, after all. ]

Then would you permit me to tell my side of the story? You can draw whatever conclusion you'd like, of course.

[ He leans over to the side to pat at the side table or whatever until he finds what he's looking for: a snack cake. What else would it be, really... ]

But it doesn't sit well with me for the creature that has my eye to try and put my neck in a noose with misinformation~.

( He watches Break fumble and he totally would have helped if he'd just asked, what the heck Break...It's too bad Break can't see because Urashima is genuinely surprised when he hears that Cheshire has his eye. Already, he's learning something new. )

Ah... ( Give him a half second to recover from that, ) If it isn't a problem...! It's your story, though.

[ Listen, he's on team pride for a reason... Even asking for help with this much is way too much for him. But that "ah" makes him laugh, though it's definitely humorless. With his snack cake in hand, he settles back again, but before he gets into his story, he does want to ask a question. ]

He didn't mention that part, did he? Next time you meet him, you should take a closer look. Now that you know that's the case, you'll be able to see quite clearly that it's mine.

[ He takes a bite of his snack cake, but that first part wasn't actually his question. ]

How did he explain the Will of the Abyss to you?

( He most certainly did not and Urashima is like ten times confused right now. He hasn't had this body for very long but he's pretty sure eyes don't work like that. You don't? Just take eyes? And why would he take his eye? Why? )

Uhm... she's a girl with white hair. ( And he thinks very hard about what to say, ) She doesn't like to be alone and... she's his guardian? She's why he doesn't like you or Mr. Gilbert.

( It's pretty basic, really. )

And... Mr. Gilbert said she's connected to "the Abyss." ( A beat, ) He told me a little bit about that too.

[ to be fair urashima i never understood that part either but > pandora hearts ]

[ Break nods, since that's about as simplistic of an explanation as he'd expect from that cat. Granted, the Abyss is a complicated thing to understand, and most of what he's learned about it has still only been recently... But still. He explains it smoothly, but seriously. Based on the fact that none of that usual light-hearted, singsong tone is in his voice for this explanation, it's reasonable to assume that this is something that Break takes seriously. ]

She is the Abyss, in a manner of speaking. It's... very complicated.

[ Like, I'm not explaining the wiki page on the Abyss-complicated ]

The Abyss is where creatures called Chains exist, and that's what the cat is. Chains are dangerous to any living thing, whether they intend to be or not. They're things that have absorbed part of the Abyss's power, and it makes them incredibly strong. However, they're bloodthirsty if they're not controlled properly. They want to leave the Abyss, so they form contracts with humans so that they can leave it for a time. The Contractor and the Chain will kill people, since this is what the Chain feeds off of, but there's a time limit on it. When the time is up, then the Contractor is dragged into the Abyss not just to be killed, but to become a Chain themselves.

[ He reaches up to his chest, and though the gesture wouldn't mean anything to Urashima, his hand comes to rest over the full Incuse there. ]

That's what should have happened to me.

[ Break pauses, then sits back more comfortably, though he reaches up to rub at his temple. He's had to explain this story a lot recently, but he doesn't like it any more. It's painful for him, and it shows clearly in his expression, if not his words. ]

I was once a knight, actually. I served a noble household very proudly, and I protected their youngest daughter especially with all my heart. By now— By now, I realize that this wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could do, but when I was away from the household, my master and several others were assassinated. As the knight of the family, it was my duty to protect them, so I took the burden upon my shoulders. Because of my grief and my own foolishness... I suppose a Chain took notice of that. The devil whispered into my ear, and I listened. I formed a Contract with a Chain only because it told me that I could erase my regrets if I worked hard to make it to the Abyss.

So I did. [ He'll pointedly not mention how many people he killed to do that, though. ] I was dragged into the Abyss, which is supposed to be a place that no living thing can return from. I met that cat there, as well as the Will of the Abyss, but she introduced herself to me as Alice. She's... It's more than just white hair. She's pure white. Everything about her is a white that's so pure that it's blinding, honestly. But she's dangerous. That whole place is dangerous, and nothing but madness. I watched her dance in a rain of blood with that cat as if she were a child enjoying the spring and throw a tea party after licking the blood off my eye. It was a nightmare- Nothing short of that.

[ It's hard for him to describe this, because his voice had gotten less controlled by the end, but he closes his eye and shakes his head as if that would help him regain some sense over the conversation. ]

She ripped out my eye so that she could give it to the cat, and she would have taken the other one too. But I'm designated pride for a reason, I suppose. I couldn't accept it, even then. So I offered to grant her wish, whatever it was. It didn't matter to me then. Just so long as she could change the past, I was willing to do anything. I should have learned from being dragged into the Abyss in the first place, but I hadn't. She accepted my plea, and the Abyss spat me out. It was thirty years later, even though I'd only been in there perhaps an hour, but I found out that she had granted my wish after all. The past had changed. My master was able to live, as I had hoped.

[ He sighs, and opens his eye again. ]

But only for four more years. Apparently the political situation worsened, however, and another member of the household was assassinated. Not my master, but the eldest daughter. The two sisters were very close, and so... It drove the youngest daughter to the same thing I had done. She became an Illegal Contractor, but she sacrificed the entire family to the Chain before she was dragged into the Abyss. Not even a single person remains today. They were completely wiped out. And it was my fault. Because of my own arrogance and pride, every single person I cared about was slaughtered. That's why I would never change the past. I know the damage it does. The blood of the damage is on my hands alone.

[ god and yet he's still not done with this damn story WHY IS THIS CANON SO COMPLICATED ]

That cat thinks that I betrayed the Will of the Abyss because I took back her memories. But the cat never heard what her wish to me was in the first place. She doesn't want to be the Will of the Abyss anymore. And that cat is a creature that's supposed to protect her and ensure her safety. Of course he can't accept that even if he knew it. I've betrayed no one... But that simple thing can't understand what I'm doing, either.

( As crazy as it sounds, it isn't too hard to follow. Still, it's a lot to take in and he tries to make as many connections as he possibly can to understand.

It's easy when he imagines Break as a sword-- someone responsible for protecting someone else. And like swords that had failed their masters during fateful moments, he can understand why Break would fault himself. Even the idea of someone taking loss so personally that it leaves them vulnerable and drives them to do something taboo to fix things makes sense to him, even if it sits with him wrong. Break isn't even finished with his story and Urashima already has a general sense of where this is going.

Other than what Break is telling him now, he's only heard bits and pieces from Cheshire and Gilbert. This "Intention of the Abyss" and the "Abyss" are dangerous people and dangerous places but immediately he thinks of Tsurumaru Kuninaga and wonders what he would think if he saw the other sword dancing in the that spaceless and timeless void. Tsurumaru would want to dance in the blood of his enemies too. Ah, it's strange and scary and he understands this objectively from his experiences with humans but right now, he just feels so sad for everyone. For Break for the Intention, for Cheshire, and for Gilbert. What a sad situation, he thinks, and why wasn't there anyone to stop them? ~~Where was the Saniwa's army to stop Break~~ )

( Urashima is quiet for a long time now, taking in everything Break has said and connecting to everything he's learned from the others. It's a lot to absorb and it's uncomfortably heavy to have so much unloaded on him this week from them but finally, he replies quietly, )

I think I understand. ( Maybe not all of it-- there are things in their world that most certainly are not in his own world but there are parallels. ) And I'm sorry there wasn't anyone for you back then.

( Top stop him and save him from himself. No, really, where was the saniwa's army to stop Break. )

Can I ask you a question? ( He doesn't wait for an answer but he supposes Break can choose to answer if he wants to or not, ) The void in this town and the Abyss from your home... do you think worlds can be connected by something like that? There's a place like that where I'm from too. Hmm... it's different from here and from your's but there are things that are the same.

Can I explain too? Why I couldn't trust you then?

[ The apology sits heavily on his shoulders, but it's because it's an uncomfortable, awkward weight. Break doesn't like to think about that period in his life often, and truth be told, if he didn't find it necessary to share it here, he absolutely wouldn't. He had kept it a secret from even people was very close to for a decade, and if he had his way, he would go to grave with it. However, he wouldn't go to grave because of it, or at least for not sharing. So the "I'm sorry" he tries to shrug off, because he doesn't want it, in a sense. The past is the past, and it can't be changed. That's the whole point. Even though it still weighs on him heavily, it still feels like a lifetime ago at times.

Instead, the question becomes his focus, and he nods. ]

It could be, but I don't think it is. It's another long explanation, so I hope you'll understand and allow me to go with the shorter one and say that Gilbert and I both have a somewhat special existence in relation to the Abyss. We'd both know if it was the one we were familiar with. But even so, it's definitely possible that worlds are connected by that thread, yes. It can't be proven, but that seems to be the case for our Abyss.

[ So you get nice AUs of tea parties instead of [spoilers]. Break sighs a bit more heavily, and there's a quality to that breath that's a bit wetter, so he reaches for the water at the bedside table. Talking that long was probably a mistake, but it's important. So as such, he'll gladly take a break to be quite for a few minutes, which is why he nods for Urashima to explain. ]

Some times things get lost in history. People lose treasure and important things and can never find them ever again. It isn't special or strange when it happens... people are just really careless sometimes.

( Urashima laughs a bit at that because it really is funny how bad people lose things all the time, )

I don't really remember when or even how it happened but I got lost with my brother. That wasn't really normal. We didn't end up in the ocean or forgotten in someone's storage; we ended up in a different place. I don't remember a whole lot because there isn't really a lot to remember... but it was a dark place between space and time. You can't tell even if you're there for an hour or centuries because there isn't any time in that place either... except there's also all the time in the world. ( He's really no good at explaining kebiishi void one part because it's vague as hell but also because it's one part straight unexplainable and another part not a good memory, even as vague as those memories are. ) For the most part, it was just me and my big brother! But sometimes we'd sense something else in there.. something really empty. Even emptier than the place we were in.

Anyway, I was rescued from that place. I didn't know it... but that empty thing we sensed were other spirits called, "kebiishi." Uhm... I'll talk more about them in a little bit but after I was rescued, I was summoned by our master to fight in his army and help with his mission.

... And that's how I started traveling back in time. Back home, there's an army of spirits that want to change the past. We call them the "Retrorgrading Army" and they're.... really sad. ( Says Urashima who is kind enough to feel pity even for his enemy, ) They're sword spirits like me but they're so sad and angry they've fallen into despair. They lost all of their humanity and all of their reason and all they want to do is fix the past because they think it's wrong. They try to save people who shouldn't be saved and kill people who shouldn't be killed... but they can't do that. So me and my friends fight to stop them and even after they're destroyed... they keep coming back and trying again. They're really mad. ( In the insane sense, that is. ) And anyone can become one of those spirits.

It's really hard for some of my friends, you know? Sometimes we end up in a place where they have to watch their loved ones die again. We go back to those exact moments where we can change everything if we really want to. We can save someone we love or get revenge against someone who wronged us... and it's really painful to see. ( "to see" because Urashima himself is blessed and has had a lucky life. ) And that's when three things can happen.

( Not that Break can see but Urashima holds up a finger for each point as he makes it, )

You can fall into despair and become a corrupt spirit. ( Two, ) You can forget all of the pain and become kebishii- emotionless and detached from all humanity. ( And three, ) Or you can keep fighting.

But once you change history, you become the first one. Your soul inevitably becomes twisted and rotten. If you're lucky, a friend will notice in time and destroy you because it's better to die than to become corrupt and keep fighting for something you can't control anymore.

That's why... even when you said you wouldn't change the past, I couldn't just trust you when you've already done it before. I don't know you... or your spirit well enough. I have to think, "History will repeat."

[ Break listens to the story in silence, and really, there's no real change in his expression. However, it's not out of disinterest. It's exactly the opposite, actually, because this is familiar, yet foreign all at once. There are similarities in the situations this story lays out, but there are great differences too. Urashima's story, he decides, seems a bit more literal.

The options were the same, after all. When Kevin had tumbled out of the Abyss, he had faced those same three options, but they were more metaphorical for him. It gets him to laugh, but it's soft and warm, because though it's something that seems ironic and something that he should feel bitter about... He doesn't. The memory of his choice on which path he would walk down was one bathed in golden light, after all. ]

It's not too different. But I picked my path fifteen years ago by now, so at the very least, despair and detachment are rather far from me by now~. If I hadn't succumbed by now, it would be very anticlimactic if I did in the last part.

[ Break pauses and seems to consider something, but his smile turns a bit softer. He shrugs and still tries to dismiss sentiment with his weird, clownish gestures, but it's still clear that this is a serious topic all the same. ]

It doesn't really bother me if I don't consider my word trustworthy. I'm not a very trustworthy person~! But know that even the accusation that I'd consider something like changing the past is what makes me angry. It was never being accused for being the killer, since that evidence was fair enough. But I picked my path to fight, even in the face of the punishment I bear for that choice. I won't abandon it so easily.

( It isn't even that Break is sketchy as heck, though, because besides that huge blemish on his track record, Urashima would trust Break completely like the naive spirit he is. Honestly, as long as another time changing motive doesn't come up, he'll keep trusting Break too. Maybe not as much as Gilbert because Gilbert is a better turtle than Break but a friend of Gilbert's can't be a completely awful person. He thinks. )

Then you can be mad.

( Because he stands by his accusation still. Their decisions are influenced by their past experiences and more than anyone or anything here, Urashima can trust those. But there's something else that Break says that really catches his attention here.

Urashima is young by spirit standards and certainly he's naive and innocent but he isn't oblivious. Break is sick. He'd collapsed after the trial and really, Urashima had thought he was going to die. He's never been a war sword and he's never watched someone be killed but he's seen plenty of people die. )

But what do you mean by "the last part?"

Hmm~?

[ Break's tone is light and dismissive, which might be about what would be expected from Break. Even not knowing him very well or for long, it's likely clear enough that his clownish mannerisms are often used to dismiss troublesome things. Apparently this is no different. ]

And here I thought it must be obvious by now~. I really would have preferred to keep it a secret, but these things are stressful! That, and those after effects when our corresponding team mates get killed is very harsh on a poor constitution!

[ His tone stays just as flippant, but at least for the last part, he gets somewhat more serious. It's uncomfortable for him, but he still tries to hide that under his dismissive, flippant way of speaking. ]

I'm an old man, and my body is failing me. You're smart enough to figure out the rest.

( Was it really that obvious or did he just miss it out between all the actual dead, everyone else's death shocks, and the stress and grief people have been going through... )

... You're sick.

( He says instead because he doesn't really want to say dying. It's a trait he's picked up from other humans. You don't say dying and you don't say dead if you can help it. People are sick, they're ill, their "time" is running out, they "pass."

Urashima doesn't waste his time with questions like, "Are you okay?" Not after Sunday and not after seeing how seriously Gilbert treats this. Gilbert knows too? He must. He doesn't ask how long either because it isn't like they're close so instead he opts to ask, )

Will you be okay here?

( Here specifically where their days are numbered and he supposes Break's are doubly so. )

I am. But I have been for a very long time. It's my punishment, probably, since my Chain is incredibly useful, but I pay for it appropriately. The Mad Hatter is a Chain that exists only to destroy.

[ That part he had come to peace with long ago, because it felt fitting. Making a contract with the Mad Hatter was something that was never really done because of the high strain that it placed on the Contractor, but Break hadn't hesitated at all. In a way, it felt right to him. He could never call it atonement, but there was something he had always found fitting in how his Chain worked. However, that second question gets Break to pause for a bit longer.

If he had only been "kidnapped" to this a week or two earlier, it wouldn't have mattered. He was frail and had been for years, but his condition worsening was tied to using the Mad Hatter. It was predictable and calculated. Each time he brought his Chain forth, he knew it was eating away at his life. However... That last time he had summoned it, he knew it was different. The fight with the Baskervilles was intense, but not an impossible one, even blind. Yet he had felt exhaustion creeping into every bone and muscle of his body, and though he hadn't said anything before he had passed out, he had wondered if that would be his end.

So, now... He knows the next time would be the last. His poor health is something he goes through great lengths to hide, but he always feels it now. He's used to ignoring it, only allowing himself the time to actually show and bear that pain when he's alone, but still, it makes that question a hard one. The silence lingers a little longer than he would like, because in truth, the answer to that question scares him.

Yet, even so, he just smiles calmly. He answers the question on the surface, though he also avoids it in his discomfort. ]

I have no intention of dying just yet, don't worry~.

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Week 5 → SOME DAY? Monday evening?!?!

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every time i explain ph it's like [1000 word essay]

1/2 [urashima staring into the camera he didnt sign up for this]

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